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Chad Johnson is just a pak trying to get his wang wet

Posted by UnneccessaryMuchness on April 15, 2010 at 3:26 PM Comments comments (1)

What do paks do when all else fails? Buy em something nice. Though this is a little nicer than a double vodka lime.

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Who kills the crossover better- Tony P vs Ron Artest

Posted by Kundilinee on February 9, 2010 at 11:34 AM Comments comments (1)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIHT6km5EmM&feature=related  -- Tony P ft. Rickwel- Premier Love (French

 

http://www.forbezdvd.com/cod.php?v=NzQwMQ --- Ron Artest- Workout (hilarious)

 

If you were to compare Ron Artest and Tony Parker as basketball players you would most definitely have a divide in opinions.

 

Ron Artest a defense monster who could arguably lead a team offensively as well, when he shows up. Of late Ron Artest hasn't seemed as solid as in previous year, however, this may be attributed to his focus on running L.A.'s hip hop scene.

 

On the other hand we have Tony Parker an All-Star callibre point guard who has a Finals MVP title under his belt. His skills have become both feared and respected by most teams in the NBA. Does his speed and flow on the court match MC talents?

Olympic Hockey Winner: Team USA

Posted by Ghostshan on February 8, 2010 at 11:46 PM Comments comments (1)

"WHAT THE FUCK MAN?"

My Canadian Identity yells at me as I write the title to this post. 

That's right.  Team USA will win the gold medal. 

"You don't know shit about hockey, you've never even played hockey on ice you halfbreed jackass." My Canadian Identity says as it continues to berate my choice. 

I try to explain: "I don't want them to win, I've got a feeling about this"

"YOU'VE GOT A FEELING?  Listen just because Black Eyed Peas has been playing all summer doesn't mean you know shit about what's going to happen."

I didn't realize my Canadian Identity was so vulgar and angry.  So I calmed it down with a nice dinner of poutine with maple syrup and tried to explain my traitorous choice.

"Ok I'll be the first to admit I don't know a lot about hockey and I know my reasoning is extremely unscientific but in all the years of hockey being shoved down my throat I believe that I have a pretty good grasp on what makes a winning team."

"Well I'm dying to hear your thorough analysis." My Canadian Identity replied snidely

"Hey, there's no need to be sarcastic.  My reasoning comes down to 4 words: "Ryan 'The Asshole' Miller"

"Ryan Miller is the #1 goaltender for the USA and he is an asshole.  Every game I have watched him in he has been a complete asshole.  He will be peppered with shots, he will make acrobatic saves and he will fight through giant white people screening him to save a puck.  He's an asshole."

My Canadian Identity is a slightly dumbfounded.  "Wait, so let me get this straight.  You're picking the USA because you've seen Ryan Miller make a couple of good saves?"

"Basically, yeah.  Like I said, I have a feeling he's going to steal this tournament and the USA is going to win the gold."

My Canadian Identity gave me the most condescending stare and then slapped me so hard that I fell to the ground.  As it looked down on me it said in a confident, God-like manner:

"You're an idiot.  Go Canada go."

 

 

 

All the SB commercials

Posted by Nav Da Killa on February 7, 2010 at 10:35 PM Comments comments (3)

I got the canadian feed when I watched the game


but here is a link to watch all the commercials that they aired.. discuss the best ones

(I still dont' know how to properly show videos.. so here's the link)


http://msn.foxsports.com/video/shows/2010_super_bowl_commercials?GT1=39002

Good Luck in 2014

Posted by Fort Mac BALLER on February 5, 2010 at 4:47 PM Comments comments (2)

?

Well ladies and gentlemen the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics are dawning upon us, and there seems to be nothing but eager fans far and wide. For Canadians there is nothing like witnessing their home team hockey juggernaut as it crushes any foe in its path. For others like, my boy T, they just cannot wait to see all the shimmers and wonder of a perfectly executed triple axle and there?s nothing but cheers from BRAHS watching snowboarding in White Oak vision. Well I say hogwash to the hockey, hogwash to the figure skating and hogwash to the BRAHS in their snowboarding Bologna. For me I wanted nothing more then to relieve the moments, the glory and all the sentiments of those who witnessed probably the greatest Olympic triumph.

?

Today I feel nothing but disappointment? before the games even begin. I want to feel excited, but I can?t. Throughout the years there has been a phrase that could lift my spirits no matter how down in the dumps I was feeling. I wanted to truly feel what it meant to cheer with all my heart and soul?.. ?COOL RUNNINGS!? No matter how many times I say this over and over, I cannot change reality.

The Jamaican Bobsled Team did not qualify for the 2010 Olympics.

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I will give you a moment to soak that in. (Proceed reading when ready).

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?We?ve been in battles for many, many years,? Chris Stokes, a founding member of the Jamaican bobsled team more than 20 years ago, told The AP in a phone interview. ?This is one more. But it?s disappointing, no question about that. The guys worked really hard and did well. Not qualifying, it?s by no means a failure. It?s a step going forward.?

?

It seems that no matter what happens, they keep their heads up. Well Olympics or no, I will yell ?COOL RUNNINGS!? at every president I see over the course of the Olympics as a reminder oh how proud I am of their ongoing gumption.

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Is there hope for the future?

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Yup.

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Former U.S. bobsled pilot Todd Hayes, will coach the team for the 2014 games in Sochi. I know I?ve preordered my green, yellow and black for 2014?

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Have you?

Say it aint' so...

Posted by Gimme that titty! on February 4, 2010 at 11:55 AM Comments comments (5)

 

Fuck this. Lil Wayne is coming out with a rock album, Rebirth. Fuck that. Has anyone heard his song Prom Queen? Horrible. He just made Tha Carter III, a record setting, grammy award winning rap album, which was really good. Why this??

 

What a complete and utter fail of a follow-up.

 

If you've heard Wayne attempt to rock then you surely know what I'm talking about. Absolute shit. I wish he would stick to what he's good at, which is rapping and getting hot girls pregnant.  I imagine this abortion of an album will be the musical equivalent of the movie Battlefield Earth.

 

Rebirth? More like afterbirth.

Dion Be Gone!!

Posted by Chimbo Slice on January 31, 2010 at 1:10 PM Comments comments (4)

There is a blockbuster deal coming out of Calgary this morning, Flames bad-boy Dion Phaneuf is being shipped out of town. This will appease many Flames fans who would have to close their eyes every time Dion was in his own end. The often exciting Phaneuf has been a part of a 7 player deal including Flames blueline prospect Keith Aulie and winger Freddie Sjostrom who were sent to Toronto in return for forwards Matt Stajan, Niklas Hagman, Jamal Mayers and defenceman Ian White. 


Niklas Hagman was the Leafs' leading goal-scorer with 20 goals and was tied for fourth in points with 33. Matt Stajan is set to become an unrestricted free agent at the end of this season, but the 26-year-old centre has loads of potential if Sutter can re-sign him. The Toronto product has 16 goals and 41 points in 55 games for the Leafs this season. 


Goodbye mistakes in your own end, hello depth at the forward position and a run at the division title.


 


http://www.calgarysun.com/sports/2010/01/31/12685471.html

The Battle of All-Brutal

Posted by Chimbo Slice on January 31, 2010 at 1:04 PM Comments comments (2)

A couple of embarrassed fans show up to the game with paper bags on their head and show their displeasure with their teams recent performances. Their girlfriends just happen to be beauties as well. The one next to the guy in the Flames jersey could definitely get it!

 


Fuck Lady Gaga?

Posted by Ghostshan on January 28, 2010 at 10:29 PM Comments comments (1)

Ok.  So.  Let's turn the clock back.  All the way back to the summer of 2008.  It was a magical time.  The world was in the grips of a devastating recession, Michael Phelps was huffing and puffing (mostly puffing) his way to Olympic dominance in the pool and Will Smith was as relevant as he has ever been in rap music.  During this time a little song called "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga came out.  It was a synthy club smash hit and it rocketed up every possible music chart around the world.  This song was EVERYWHERE.  I could not go anywhere without hearing this song.  One night at a party my friend was picking the tunes and he put this on which led me to exclaim "Fuck Lady Gaga!"  Saying this became a habit of mine.  The song had mesmerized the disillusioned masses into Just Dancing.  I was not a fan.  I dismissed the song and the artist without a second thought.  Upon hearing her second single "Poker Face" I felt further justification for my rebellious opposition to Gaga's shallow musical offerings.  Then, things changed.  I have heard a few more of her tracks and for some reason my viewpoint has changed from absolutely detesting her music to it being stuck in my head and not hating it.  After listening to "Paparazzi" and "Bad Romance" a few times I have to admit that these are solid songs.  I wouldn't go so far as to purchase or download them but I wouldn't change the radio station if I heard them come on either.  So this is my official retraction of the phrase "Fuck Lady Gaga."  Congratulations on singing things about stuff without me objecting.  And if any of you are wondering, she still CANNOT get it.  


Press Play, Have Mind Blown

Posted by Not Necessarily Much on January 28, 2010 at 11:22 AM Comments comments (2)

It really is a shame music videos aren't on TV anymore.  Maybe there could be a channel dedicated just to music, but what would they call it?


Sure I'm around 10 years late on this rant, but if MTV still showed videos, more people would see this masterpiece by Charlotte Gainsbourg & Beck.


My personal highlight is pancake-head spaceman.


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Is this for real? Agent Zero Makes Zero $

Posted by Chimbo Slice on January 27, 2010 at 7:16 PM Comments comments (7)

This may not come as a shocker to you, but Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittendon will both be suspended for the remainder of the season. What may come as a shocker is that Gilbert will not be contesting the suspension. That means Gil will miss the last 50 games of season at US$147,200 per game, thats nearly 7 and a half Mill without contest. I know that these sports usually hand out huge suspensions but aren't the players unions usually able to bargain them down to half or three quarters of those games?


I guess Gil thinks he was deserving of the suspension, I don't, but maybe he does. Or maybe he's already in talks with a team in Europe, or in China with Starbury that will make up for his missing salary. I don't know if anyone has talked about that possibility yet but I wouldn't be surprised to see him try to stay in shape and play overseas. His contract with Washington looks like it's in jeopardy already and if he wants to earn a new contract he better be staying in shape.

 

Fresh Prince takes over God Channel

Posted by UnneccessaryMuchness on January 27, 2010 at 12:10 PM Comments comments (1)

Fresh Prince is so good!

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Another White Woman Wants Greg Oden's Grandfather

Posted by Chimbo Slice on January 27, 2010 at 11:16 AM Comments comments (1)

Apparently Beth Slovic was awed by Greg Oden's junk. The Portland journalist asked asked the old man “Why are you embarrassed? A lot of people are impressed.” The hooo thought it was hillarious but Oden shrugged it off and said simply said he was embarrassed.


If you haven't seen his junk check out the hillarity here,NSFW 

http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh1xfnQr8n1n9hmRI9

For her article:

http://blogs.wweek.com/news/2010/01/26/greg-oden-apologizes-for-embarrassing-photos/



Javaris Crittenton's Side of the Story

Posted by Nav Da Killa on January 26, 2010 at 1:39 PM Comments comments (3)

 "Crittenton suggested a fistfight. But Arenas said he was too old to fight and instead said he would burn Crittenton's car or shoot him in the face. Crittenton then told Arenas he would 'shoot the [expletive]' out of Arenas and shoot Arenas in his surgically repaired left knee, prosecutors said ... Arenas arrived at Verizon Center for practice ... [he had a] silver Smith & Wesson .500 magnum revolver ... He then placed four guns on the chair directly in front of Crittenton's locker. Arenas wrote "PICK 1" on a piece of paper and placed it on Crittenton's chair near the guns ... When Crittenton saw the guns, he said, 'What is this?' Arenas told Crittenton, 'You said you were going to shoot me, so pick one.' ... Crittenton picked up one of the guns from the chair and threw it across the locker room. Crittenton then displayed his own pistol, a silver-colored, 9mm Taurus semiautomatic ... Arenas then allegedly told Crittenton, 'If I'm giving you these three guns, imagine what I have in my car.'"


/stolen from TBL

Georges might want a joint now

Posted by UnneccessaryMuchness on January 21, 2010 at 2:07 PM Comments comments (3)

The Montreal Canadiens have decided to part ways with long-time Oiler and short-term Canadien, Georges Laraque. The announcement came after Georges was sat in a heated affair against St. Louis last night where Blues toughman Cam Janssen ran Habs Goalie Carey Price.


"Jacques Martin doesn't like me and doesn't believe in toughness," Chimed Laraque.  "To do this in the midst of all I'm dealing with in Haiti, the timing is awful," he added. Georges was clearly livid with the decision, however he did come down and apologize for perhaps crossing the line in anger. It appears he is already getting flack for what he said about Haiti as the night before les Canadiens announced they had raised over $150,000 for the victims of the earthquake. 


Anyways, Georges always seems to remind me of a late-night Denny's run in Edmonton where Georges was sitting having dinner with his Girlfriend and his Girlfriends brother, when a great friend of mine, let's call him " Chinese Neil" decides to join them. The dynamic of the table is a strange one as Chinese Neil is loving the fact that he's sitting at the table with the toughest guy to play in the NHL, and the toughest guy in the NHL wants him to get the eff away from their table. Chinese Neil initially doesn't get the point and continues trying to convince the monster of a man that he should go outside and smoke a joint with his girlfriends brother and himself. Needless to say the failed attempt left Chinese Neil no worse off and provided his friends with a great story for years. Perhaps now he'll smoke a fatty with you old chap.


http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Georges-Laraque-evokes-Haiti-in-blasting-Canadie?urn=nhl,215001

Wallace hates money, likes refs even less

Posted by Chimbo Slice on January 20, 2010 at 6:18 PM Comments comments (1)

Rasheed decides that he's had enough with money and wants to give the NBA another $35,000. This guy has spent 65 G's this year letting David Stern know how he feels about the officiating. Luckily for Celtics fans they will be hearing less from their disgruntled backup centre as it has been reported that Kevin Garnett is getting closer to making a come-back and expects to make a return on Friday. His most recent photo comes at a local shoe store where he looked a little jaded.


http://sports.espn.go.com/boston/nba/news/story?id=4842666

Adam Morrison's Second Calling?

Posted by Chimbo Slice on January 20, 2010 at 5:32 PM Comments comments (0)

The Augusta Chronicle is reporting that the All-American Basketball Alliance would like to begin their inaugural season in June with 12 franchises around the South-East United States. The league boasts about giving White American born athletes a chance to revive what league founder Don "Moose" Lewis calls "The white game of basketball, which is essentially a fundamental game (that) works". 


Augusta Mayor Deke Copenhaver has publicly expressed his support for minor league teams in the past does " not support in good conscience bringing in a team that does not fit with the spirit of inclusiveness that I, along with many others, have worked so hard to foster in our city." 


Lewis however points out that a league that supports the white american basketball player may help to promote an NBA that doesn't have players joking about shooting each other, running into the stands and general acts of thuggerisms. The "Moose" blames these acts on the influence of the black players in the NBA and would like to restore a good name to the sport.


 


http://chronicle.augusta.com/stories/2010/01/19/nba_563760.shtml

Want to touch the hiney!

Posted by Gimme that titty! on January 19, 2010 at 6:16 PM Comments comments (3)

 

If you know me then you know I think Emmanuelle Chriqui is the bee's knees. The cat's meow.  I swoon over her and I'm not the swooning type.  Anyway it appears that a lot of guys feel the same way because she was voted the Most Desirable Woman (ooooohhh) on AskMen.com.

 

Quaddamn she fine.

 

http://www.canada.com/entertainment/celebrity/dose/story.html?id=2459857

Hockey on UM? check it out

Posted by Chimbo Slice on January 19, 2010 at 5:29 PM Comments comments (1)

This goal was from the ECHL Victoria Salmon Kings and is one of the dirtiest goals I have seen in years. The Bakersfield Pylons eerrrr Condors made this thing look even better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=U2mPuh41kgI

 

Hedo Turkoglu's Contract

Posted by Ghostshan on January 15, 2010 at 10:35 PM Comments comments (3)



Or as Courtney Cox calls it "THE OLD SAGGING TIT." Ok that wasn't an apt comparison because the contract is really quite substantial and robust, unfortunately what isn't any of the aforementioned compliments is the player that contract is attached to.  Hedo Turkoglu is underperforming half way through his 1st year in a 5 (!) year contract that will end up paying him 55 million gozongas.  Now I wish gozongas were the currency for Zimbabwe because then I could toss him 26 Canadian Dollars and buy him out.

I'm not even going to discuss the dubious decision to give a player in his 30's a 5 year contract (oops, too late to go back now).  These type of contracts should be reserved for the most elite players who have a track record of health, performance, leadership and my favourite un-empirical designation; leadership.

Ok so let's look at something sexy: $tats!  Hedo came to Orlando in the 2004-2005 season and only started 11 games, in his limited role he scored 14 PPG.  His numbers steadily rose as the years passed and in the 2007-2008 season he exploded for 19.5 PPG 5.0 APG & 5.7 RPG.  This was in his age 28-29 years, I note this because this is the general time period when most athletes are at their peak physical condition.  The next season saw a slight drop in all three offensive categories.  Then he became a free agent.

It is a dangerous thing to forecast an athlete's success based on his best season in his peak athletic age range.  It is wise to look at the hundreds of other players with the same career arc as Turkoglu and use that data to make a decision.  I can see why Colangelo signed him to the deal, Toronto needed a clutch scorer to play alongside Bosh and to give some on court incentive for Bosh to sign with Toronto.  Now it seems that Bosh is going to leave, the Raps are playing .500 basketball and Turkoglu is playing far below his expected averages in PPG.

I do like Turkoglu as an offensive player.  I like most of his offensive instincts and his poise in dire situations.  I however, do not like him at the price he was obtained for.  If you have watched him this season it seems he is enjoying his Sprite and pizza way too much, his legs don't look to be in his shot late in the game, he is getting beat on defense and he just looks old.  News flash Colangelo: Hedo is only going to get older.

Raptors fans should relish the playoff run this season because it is going to be a tough 3-4 seasons after this one.  Unless Bargs turns into the Dirk-ish all star some scouts projected him to be Raps fans will only have DeRozan highlights to look forward to for the next few years.




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